Reasons why I’m moving to Miami asap

1. The arts are finally alive and kickin’ down there.

2. Might as well get used to heat and humidity before total climate change sets in.

3. $567 to heat a small abode in rural New England for the month of January to 58 degrees F. That’s more than rent.

4. Pasty face. Desiccated tresses. Cracked cuticles. [Not that I’ll be let in under these conditions.]

5. It’s not an island.

6. It doesn’t have the Hollywood sign.

7. While up “late” [7pm] shivering in 5 layers, while sweatin’ ‘nother bout o’ cabin fever + lower back ache + frost bit nose from the sound of tomorrow’s forecast, made a mad dash to general store just before closing time for impulse-, cold comfort purchases:

  • 1 bottle Fire Cider
  • 1 pound of Fogbuster coffee beans
  • 2 packs of BOLT [caffeine + B12 + B6] squares of gummy stuff
  • 1 nip of Jack Daniels
  • 1 cup of tomato basil soup + slice of rosemary white bread
  • 1 slice of coconut cake
  • 2 packs Hotteeze [stick-on toe warmers]
  • 1 extra large box all natural peanut butter dog biscuits from Vermont [for the cabin-fever-stricken border collie who shares my home]
  • 1 overpriced bottle of Advil
  • anti-freeze, ice-melt, ice pick
  • 1 tub of Bear Badger Balm
  • 1 pkg lemon grass ramen noodles
  • box of kitchen matches

Done.

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LP

I tend to watch wheels go round and around.